Source: CMSA Today
BY KELLIE BURKE, aPHR, MBA, MSW, CSW, LMSW
The days are getting warmer across the country, and we are approaching the unofficial first day of summer – Memorial Day. Barbeques and lawn chairs will be the staple for many as we remember our service members who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. The entire month of May is celebrated as Military Appreciation Month, which, according to Military.com, “is a time designated to honor and recognize the contributions, sacrifices, and service of the members of the armed forces, past and present” (Military Advantage, 2024). Even the Friday before Mother’s Day has special recognition for Military-Connected families as “President Ronald Reagan first proclaimed it “Military Spouse Day” in 1984 before Congress declared it part of Military Appreciation Month in 1999” (United Services Organizations, 2024). Often, though, the individuals who stand alongside the service members find themselves less in the spotlight yet still waging many of their battles at home.
These struggles have a substantial impact on the physical, emotional and mental health of the military-connected family. They are often waged behind closed doors or made worse by the situations inherent to the military spouse experience. Because these health impacts are tied to issues that are not biological in nature, they have been labeled as social determinants of health. As defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), “The social determinants of health (SDOH) are the non-medical factors that influence health outcomes.” That is, where we are born, grow, live, work and play, and the resources we have in our day-to-day lives, impact our health and well-being. This is also directly related to health equity in that social determinants and health outcomes often correlate. Research suggests that SDOH issues can account for upwards of 50% of health outcomes. We saw this during the pandemic when resources to address SDOH needs were scarce or hard to obtain due to social distancing and lack of staffing (World Health Organization, 2021).
The U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion within the Office of the Assistant Secretary for Health (OASH) has categorized SDOH into five domains:
- Economic Stability
- Education Access and Quality
- Health Care Access and Quality
- Neighborhood and Built Environment
- Social and Community Context (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2022)
Some examples within each of these domains may include:
- Safe housing
- Racism and discrimination
- Education and job opportunities
- Isolation and loneliness
- Access to consistent quality healthcare
These are struggles that many military spouses face daily as they navigate their experiences. Some of the most common issues and concerns are:
- Income instability from career disruptions
- Insurance coverage gaps during transitions
- Appointment scheduling constraints due to single parenting
- Secondary trauma affecting supporting service members
- Caregiver fatigue to support service member
- Higher rates of unemployment and underemployment compared to civilian counterparts
Stephanie Muckey, Marine Corps spouse and caregiver, reported that her children had the same vaccines given to them multiple times at multiple duty stations because of the inability to maintain records across moves. Stephanie has since made it her mission to address SDOHs for her fellow military spouses. With May being Mental Health Awareness Month (National Alliance on Mental Illness, 2024), it is crucial for us to take a closer look at a struggle almost every military spouse will grapple with. With 74% of military spouses experiencing their partner being deployed longer than 30 days and 28% of spouses experiencing a Permanent Change of Station (PCS) in the last 12 months, one of the struggles that has a significant impact on individual resilience and mental well-being is loneliness. In fact, a study by the Office of People Analytics (U.S. Department of Defense, 2021) found that more than 34% of spouses reported loneliness as being “the most critical problem experienced,” and that they “experienced the problem to a large or very large extent.” So, the question then becomes, how do we help address it? As a health care professional, clinician, care manager or other support, there are several ways you can work to show up as culturally competent and clinically ready to support military spouses. Organizations like PsychArmor have free, self-paced training modules that include tracts such as “Military Culture-Informed Healthcare Training,” which assists “aspiring healthcare professionals to embark on a learning journey where knowledge and empathy converge to empower you with the tools needed to deliver culturally sensitive and evidence-based care to military personnel, veterans and their families” (PsychArmor, 2024). Additionally, if you are geographically located near a military installation, you will need to get to know the local community as you may be working with military spouses more often than not. It is important to learn where the local resources are and who leads the area’s various spouse and family groups. For in-person and virtual clients, knowing online resources such as Military One Source or the various Military Service Organizations will go a long way. Building your network and knowledge base will end up paying off for the spouse when a need arises (Harless et al., 2024).
If you are looking to show support for a military spouse in your life, Military One Source recommends the following ideas:
- Call and check-in: We may have gotten into a bad habit of missing how simple but effective this can be.
- Send a card: Again, so simple and yet so effective to help someone remember they aren’t alone.
- Offer to take the kids for a night, if you live close enough: Enough said – not having to be responsible for little humans for an evening can be a game changer.
- Make a meal or send a gift card to a local restaurant: The mental load it takes to run a household by yourself can be exhausting. Not having to make a meal or two can be a huge lift.
- Offer to be a listening ear: Military spouses most often know what they signed up for when they did, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Engaging in this social exchange can have tremendous benefits in helping individuals feel a sense of connection and belonging (Fawcett, 2025).
If you are a military spouse, the Cohen Veterans Network has some recommendations for combating isolation and loneliness, especially during time apart from one’s spouse. In its research, Cohen found that 77% of military couples reported feeling lonely sometimes or often, and the top reasons were an inadequate support system and time away from their spouse. Cohen has this to offer:
- Set expectations during time apart: Set clear and realistic expectations upfront, especially when there is a considerable amount of uncertainty.
- Mind your self-talk: Fill yourself with kindness and grace as you navigate a recognizably difficult situation.
- Participate in Meaningful Activities: Cohen recommends “identifying your values and taking purposeful action around them.”
- Ask if social media is helping or hurting you: social media can be a great way to stay connected to the world when away from your family and friends. However, it can also create unrealistic expectations and provide unnecessary exposure to overstimulation if you are not careful.
- Consider quality or quantity: Establish a meaningful connection and give yourself the grace and permission to recognize that sometimes new friendships or connections just aren’t going to be it (Malvagna, 2024).
If you or someone you know is a military spouse struggling with navigating feelings of isolation, loneliness, depression or any other issue, please know that it is OK not to be OK, but there is hope, and there is help. Free, confidential counseling is available upon installation through the Military and Family Life Counseling program and Military OneSource.
References
Fawcett, E. (2025). Support for the military spouse in your life. Military OneSource. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/military-basics/extended-family-friend/support-for-military-spouse-in-your-life/#resources-military-spouses
Harless, M., Brown, M., Johnson, J., Chelanga, M., Author, G., News, Team, M. S., Brown, H., Pitman, A., Lightfoot, L., McDonald, J., & Winston, S. (2024). Deployment. Military Spouse. https://www.militaryspouse.com/category/military-life/deployment/
Malvagna, C. (2024). Combating Loneliness for Military Couples. Cohen Veterans Network. https://www.cohenveteransnetwork.org/combating-loneliness-for-military-couples/
Military Advantage. (2024). Military Appreciation Month 2024. Military.com. https://www.military.com/military-appreciation-month
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2024). Mental Health Awareness Month. NAMI. https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Mental-Health-Awareness-Month/
PsychArmor. (2024). Military Culture Informed Healthcare series. https://learn.psycharmor.org/bundles/military-culture-informed-healthcare-series
U.S. Department of Defense. (2021). 2021 DOD Survey of Active Duty Spouses. Military One Source. https://download.militaryonesource.mil/12038/MOS/Infographic/2021-survey-of-active-duty-spouses.pdf
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2022). Social Determinants of Health. Social Determinants of Health – Healthy People 2030. https://odphp.health.gov/healthypeople/priority-areas/social-determinants-health
United Services Organizations. (2024). What is military appreciation month?. United Service Organizations. https://www.uso.org/stories/2699-what-is-military-appreciation-month
World Health Organization. (2021). Social Determinants of Health. World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/health-topics/social-determinants-of-health#tab=tab_1
Kellie Burke, aPHR, MBA, MSW, CSW, LMSW, oversees the creation, implementation, and external partnerships to ensure sustainability of diverse talent pathway strategies. Kellie is a master’s prepared social worker with an MBA and associate HR professional seeking a doctorate in Social Work. Kellie is recognized as a high potential, innovative organizational thought leader. She is experienced in managing large scale program initiatives driving business results and has experience in program development, strategic planning, therapy services, community outreach, and advocacy. Kellie is dedicated to championing culture and is impassioned to create an enterprise characterized by psychological safety by developing our next generation of trauma-informed business leaders.
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